Now here is a real nail bitter.... I find myself questioning what's going on.. where is this going? What is going on in your head... I've read so many things about love, that your not afraid to love itself. That your actually afraid of being rejected, that you'll be alone, that you aren't wanted. But isn't that the truth? You seek out that need to be loved. You want that piece of the puzzle that when you finally get it, you are complete. But once you find that missing piece, you start to panic.. what if I lose my puzzle again? What if I start to panic about losing this piece again?....
Let me tell you about falling in love.
I started talking to this guy again. I've known him for years. 3 or 4 to be exact..
Hung out with this guy for awhile, and at first I didn't have any feelings for him. But then we slept together and it was like my whole world came together. It was as if he was my missing piece and I didn't realize this. And the next time we hung out, he would touch me. My hands, my face, my legs. And I got chills. He would kiss my check and i got tingles that I felt in my toes. From head to toe, I thrived off of his touch. It then came to a point where I craved his touch. I desired his lips against my forehead.
The down side to this relationship.... he had no idea what he was wanting from this relationship. He was starting school soon and wanted to focus. No I can't get upset when someone wants to focus on schooling. But I had a burning desire to have some sort of answers from him. Wanting to know what is going through his head every time he kissed me. Was he just stringing me along for now?
He is my puzzle piece I had lost for so long, that I now panic because I can see my puzzle slowly falling to the floor. And this is where it's hard.... I hold on to the feelings I get when I'm with him. The feelings of being in his arms. The way he breathes.
So when I lose my puzzle piece, I'll have the memories.
